52 Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin

How is Sarah Palin like W? Let me count the ways....

1. Does not live in the reality-based community. As evidenced by the fact that even after her Thanks, but no thanks to the Bridge To Nowhere has been nationally debunked, she's still saying it. If you build it, they will come.

2. Takes cronyism to unprecedented, Heckuva job, Brownie levels. Per yesterday's New York Times:

"The Wasilla High School yearbook archive now doubles as a veritable directory of state government."

3. Believes she has a red telephone to God and therefore knows that God wanted us to invade Iraq, God wants us to drill for more oil, God wants us to shoot wolves from airplanes...

4. Is stubborn and steadfast and proud of her ignorance. MoDo's column today sums it up well.

5. And, to her credit, or to the American people's lack thereof, is clearly striking a chord in spite of—or more likely because of—these very reasons.

Ways in which Sarah Palin is not like W...

And is more like Cheney. In this chilling scenario, if McCain is elected, it would be Palin running the show, even if McCain stays alive. And considering that she is running the campaign, and the only shot McCain has seems to be because of the excitement she's generating, and because McCain has already sold all of  his integrity down the river, this does not seem so farfetched.

A Palin presidency. Paging Margaret Atwood. 

53 Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin

In her interview with Charlie Gibson, in which she failed to even vaguely understand the Bush Doctrine and semi declared war with Russia, Palin seemed downright smug when she claimed that Obama probably regretted not choosing Hillary as his running mate.

You know, before the Democratic Convention, I'd half-hoped that he would choose Hillary. It would be a slam-dunk way to win the election. But when he chose Joe Biden, of whom I'm a longtime fan going back to the days when I'd spend Sunday mornings watching all the talking heads on Meet the Press, I realized something: Obama chose not the candidate who would be best at winning the election, but the one who would be the best at governing.

McCain, by chosing Palin, it goes without saying, did the opposite.

And that has real meaning. Paul Krugman makes a good case in yesterday's Times that how you conduct your campaign is a good barometer of how you will govern. So again, it's not really Palin I hate but the ghastly administration she represents. And I am a former McCain fan. I spent an eyeblink on the Straight Talke Express in 2000, back when Straight Talk wasn't some Orwellian doublespeak and I really liked the guy. Before Palin, I could at least feel confident that were he to win, it would be an improvement over Bush. Now, like so many other people, I see McCain's true colors and fear a McCain administration would be worse than its predecessor. As for a Palin administration...I cannot even go there. 

Deepak Chopra of all people has given a sensible, psychological explanation as to why the woman drives me so crazy with rage with as much intensity as Obama moves me. Obama and Palin represent Eros and Thanatos, respectively, of human nature and Obama's very call to be bigger than ourselves has created a backlash of sorts and amplified the urger to be smaller, pettier. And that sums up McPalin to a tee.

Oh, and Sarah, btw, I know Hillary Clinton*, and you're no Hillary Clinton.

*metaphorically speaking

54 Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin

She charged sexual assault victims in Wasilla for their rape kits. No other city in Alaska did this and the state legislature had to pass a law to get Wasilla to stop this lovely practice.

But hey, on the plus side, if those rape victims were to become pregnant, Palin would deny them the right to have an abortion. Hey, she says that she'd do the same with her own daughter. Hmm. If I got pregnant as a result of rape, would Palin make me marry my rapist? Would she pop for the reception?

Sarah, you such nice lady!

55 Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin

Because today, on the anniversary of 9/11/, Sarah Palin is continuing to perpetuate the ridiculous theory that Saddam Hussein was somehow complicit in the attacks, even though this has even been discredited by the Bush Administration. Lady, even the most retarded person in Washington understands that It's Al Qaeda, stupid.

Also, according to the ever reliable National Enquirer, Palin's son Track is getting shipped off to Iraq not because he's a patriot wanting to fight for our country but because he's a badboy druggie whose parents want to teach him a lesson. So, Iraq war for Track. Shotgun teen marriage for Bristol. Coming soon: Trafficking Piper to Pakistani rugmakers so she can keep an eye out for Osama while earning some extra cash for the family now that the per diem is out of the question.

56 Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin

I've decided that rather than fester in the awfulness of Sarah Palin, I'm going to use my rage effectively and do a blog, chronicling the many reasons I loathe her. The blog will last 56 days, after which, I am optimistic it will become obsolete. Right now, as cynical as the McPalin campaign is, I still have confidence that right (as opposed to The Right) will prevail.

My hatred is complicated and ever expanding, like the universe itself (well, at least the universe if you believe it was created by the Big Bang billions of years ago and not just God 5,000 years ago). It is not just the fact that she is such a shameless liar about her Bridge to Nowhere among other shockingly brazen deceptions. I mean, John McCain is lying just as brazenly and yet while that fills me with disgust, it does not fill me with rage. It's not even that she passes her special needs kid around like a Cabbage Patch Doll, as if the special needs associated with Downs Syndrome amount to being held by Cindy McCain or that she uses her pregnant 17-year-old daughter as a political asset—never mind if that means thrusting her into the limelight of media scrutiny—and then forcing a marriage on her that makes life among the Satmars seem progressive (although Redneck hottie is adorable, but that's besides the point).  It's not even that fake Frances McDormand-in Fargo Midwestern accent that Palin didn't seem to have before she was hired to seduce Midwesterners. It's not even that bitch threw down with my boy Obama, because I feel strongly that Obama can hold his own. It's not even that the most misogynistic politician in recent history has two X chromosomes. Nor the inherent sexism of Palin being chosen simply because, as South Carolina Congresswoman Carol Fowler so succinctly put it, she didn't have an abortion. It's not even the way the right wing wingnuts have contorted themselves into the most unbelievable pretzels to turn teen pregnancy into a family value and to become the defenders against sexism.*

The reason I hate her is because in spite of all that, or perhaps because of it, she and McCain might get elected in an election that should be a no-brainer. And perhaps "no-brainer" is the key  phrase here.  I don't really hate Sarah Palin at all. She's just a handy avatar for all my frustration with a political process that expects stupidity of its electorate, which delivers as reliably as my favorite pizza spot (which is to say, in less than 40 minutes). I've always said this is an election between dumb and smart, and Obama believes that, too, and I like to think after suffering the consequences stupidity,  of electing some dude just like us to run the country, we'd all have learned our lesson. And it is my fear/disappointment/disgust that this may be untrue that causes me to imagine bad things happening to Sarah Palin. So I don't really hate her.

Except the thing is, I really do hate her. Her voice is like nails against a chalkboard. I make my husband turn off NPR when she comes on. And so, channeling the spirit of Bikini Kill and its kickass singer Kathleen Hannah, I invite Governor Palin to suck my left one, and then go back to the hinterlands from whence she came.

*I recognize that this is far more than the allotted one reason, but I had a lot of pent up venting to do. In future, I'll stick to one reason.